My Dress...

Today as I feel my dress gently drape across my legs as I walk, I'm reminded of the first time I wore it, when it felt like knives across my legs, when I suffered through my first overnighter on Fire Island. I wasn't unhappy with the people I was with or the things we were doing, I was unhappy with my skin. As the night progressed I learned that at the age of 32 I still did not know how to apply sunblock. I did not know my skin's limitations. As I relaxed on that beach with a sangria that early afternoon, I was unaware of the mayhem that would ensue later that night. As the night progressed so did my realization that this Irish girl should not be allowed in the sun without sufficient protection. As the night progressed I began to notice an uncomfortable swelling in my feet, a painful tightness in the skin of my shins, a reddness taking over my body, and the unquenched need for water. Yup, sun poisoning with what we think were 1st or 2nd degree burns. That night will be forever burned in my memory. It was the night I learned I cannot enjoy the beach without a good liberal coating of SPF100 and an umbrella with an SPF rating of its own.

For this little boy's sake, I hope he has Peter's Hungarian bronze skin. Or else he's doomed. He'll be 'that kid' lathered in white stuff having to run to his mommy every 5 minutes for a reapplication of his 'second skin'. Poor kid. I want him to enjoy the beach. We do, after all, live on an island. 

Haters...

For the past 2 weeks, someone at work who I've become close to has stopped talking to me.  I've done some reconnaissance and it seems as if she's depressed because she's 40 something with no children and single and I'm married and preggo.  The silent treatment all started on my Birthday when during cake I announced its a boy because a few office mates asked if I knew yet.

She knows about my miscarriage and how long it took Peter and I to conceive this miracle.  So it upsets me a little that she could let this come between us.  But, I've been there.  I've been my own Pity Party.  I've been jealous and depressed during those 15 (long) months when someone else around me would get pregnant seemingly without trying.

I had texted her to see what was going on and she said that she's going through some 'personal things that she's not handling very well'.  I told her she knew where to find me if she wanted to talk, she said 'thank you' and left it alone.  That was last week.  Finally yesterday she started talking to me... nothing personal but all work.

I know how tough it must be, especially now that there's no hiding this bump.  I try not to talk about it at work but if someone asks me how I'm feeling or anything else, I answer.  I'm not hiding my pregnancy, I'm excited.  But she's the one I would talk to about the design for the nursery etc.  Its kinda lonely but at least I'm getting some work done.

17 Mondays...

Holy Crap!  I only have 17 Mondays left (after today)!!  125 days to prepare for this little boy's arrival.  That is if all goes to plan and he comes on his due date.

I'm starting to get in nesting mode and the "I have sooo much to do and sooo little time to do it in" panic.  I know it will happen, it just freaks me out since I'm such a planner.  Just ask my poor sister who would like to plan my shower in peace, but I keep interjecting with ideas and thoughts.

I asked Peter if we should start our Christmas shopping soon.  But before he even answered I realized we do everything online anyway.  I can nurse and shop at the same time.  I'm a multitasker! =)

Last night I got to see his little kicks and punches.  It was the strangest thing to see my belly bulge and move.  He was a brat again though.  Every time I would tell Peter to stare at my belly button, he'd stop.  But Peter did get to feel the little feet yesterday morning.  I had to poke and prod my belly but it happened.  Whew... I was starting to feel bad for Peter.


Dear Baby Boy,

Daddy loves you just as much as your Mommy, can you show him you're in there and doing well?  It's not fair that I am the only one that gets to feel your somersaults and stretches.  Tomorrow is your Daddy's birthday and it would be an awesome gift if he could see you move like Mommy saw last night.

PS... it's never too early to start the famous Ditzel guilt trip. ;)  Your Meema and MaMa were and still are great at it.  I learned from the best so you're doomed. =)

Love you lots, Mommy

Little Feet...

Dear Baby Boy,

I love to feel your tiny feet up against me.  It reassures me that you're still doing well.  Promise Mommy and Daddy that you'll stay healthy and come November we'll take you home to meet your big brother Oreo and show you your new room in your home.  I love you more than I thought I could without touching you or smelling your head or giving you kisses on your cheeks.

So keep kicking and punching little guy.  I love it!!

Love your Mommy <3

A Month of Discovery...

Wow!  A whole month since I updated my blog!  Sorry I left you hanging. ;)

So here's the last month in a nutshell...

• Blood Pressure is evening out and is 'text book' 95% of the time.  I'm getting there and I feel great.
• Still losing weight.  I don't mean to rub that in.  I'm actually slightly concerned.  I just don't have the appetite I used to.  But baby is on track!
• Fourth of July was nice and relaxing.  That Saturday we went to our BFF's for a BBQ and had a great time.  Got to compare baby bumps with my friend Keri.
• Went to a Yankee game and saw Derek Jeter get his 2,998th hit (he hit #3000 2 days later).
• The moment you've all been waiting for.... IT'S A BOY!!!  I'm still in shock how many people (who claim to never be wrong) were wrong.
• Peter started working on the nursery.  I found a few things on Ebay for this little guy's room.  I can't wait to set it up!
• We decided on a name!  Changed our minds from Collin.  My mother had a dream the night before the ultrasound that it was a boy (she was one of the many that swore it was a girl) and we're 98% sure we're using the name from her dream.  I'll update when we're 100% sure.
• Last weekend we went up to Sawmill Station for some R&R and well... to burn the remnants of the closet Peter demolished from the baby's room.
• We started the registry last week and my mom, sister and I finished it this week.
• My mommy got me a Pandora bracelet for my birthday with a 3 charms.  One of them is a baby carriage.  I love it!
• I'm feeling more and more little kicks everyday!  It's the most amazing thing.  Peter just felt it for the first time last night!

Here are some pictures.  Enjoy...

Keri and I.  19 and 20 weeks respectively.

Our view at the game.

Our little boy kissing his placenta. ;)

At 20 weeks, 5 days he weighed 13 oz and all his measurements were right on track!

His heartbeat was a strong 154 bpm that day.

Oreo announcing his little brother to friends, family and Facebook!

(Doesn't he look so happy??)

Peter removed the closet that a previous owner added.

Yup, room is already blue!

Peter overseeing the "demolition debris fire".

And just because I love this guy... my nephew Joey on Father's Day.