6 months!

I've been meaning to post since this past Thursday, so here's three posts in one...

Thursday, May 17, 2012:
I'm definitely ovulating today (sorry if that's TMI).  A year and 1/2 ago I'd be racing home to Peter to "catch that egg".  I'm actually kinda sad.  I forgot what it's like to not "try".  Today the ewcm and ovulation pains (forgot how bad they are) are going to waste.  Maybe in a year. ;)

I just saw my reflection in the window of a passing bus.  I looked old, unhappy and almost unrecognizable.  I have no explanation other than my usual suspects... work, commuting, work.  When will I change my stars?

Friday, May 18, 2012:
Six months ago today you were in my belly; happy as a clam and not wanting out.  I, on the other hand, was preparing for induction and your arrival.  I wish I remember exactly how I spent the day (most likely on the couch with Oreo) so I could get the whole picture, but everything before you is a fleeting memory.  Time before the moment I left the house for the hospital that Saturday night is vague.  You have changed everything and I love you for it!  You are the reason I smile.  I love you sweet Nicco!

Mommy and Daddy stayed home with you today.  You don't feel well.  Poor baby has a cold.  We both fibbed to our bosses ("my wife can't stay with him" "my husband can't stay with him") so we can have the day as a family.  This upcoming weekend is busy.  I hope we get to rest next weekend, Memorial Day weekend.  The unofficial start to summer!

Sunday, May 20, 2012:
Happy 6 Months Nicholas!!  I can't believe how much you've changed and have changed Mommy and Daddy.  We love you and can't wait for the next 6 months.  Ok, that's a lie.  We can wait.  We love the 6 month old Nicco.  You've got the greatest chubby thighs.  The smile that lights up a room.  The cutest little giggle when I "zurbert" your thighs and belly and when I tickle your neck.  You can roll from your tummy to your back (you seem to like being on your back best) and can sit up somewhat unassisted.  You've mastered the walker.  You can't quite get the sippy cup yet; you just use it to chew on.  You love all the fruits and veggies Meema has made for you and gobble them up.  Everything goes in your mouth!  Even my shirt, scarf, necklace, hair... anything!  You like covering your head with your blanket or bib.  You usually wake up stuffed in the corner of your crib.  And when you do wake up, you just lay there talking until we come in to get you.  You're such a sweet little boy.  I love watching you grow and explore.

My first...

Mother's Day.  It was kinda surreal.  It felt like every other day.  Nothing special but Peter took care of everything (but cleaning the bathroom and making dessert).  It was nice to spend time with Nicholas, just the two of us.

It was also the first time I left the house before 8:00 am that didn't involve work, a dance competition, or vacation.  Saturday, we went to Lowes to get our gardening supplies for the season.  We bought ten bags of mulch along with two more beach grasses, a new rose (since the existing stick in the ground didn't want to bloom anymore), a daisy, and some petunias.  We're going minamalist this year.

Some quiet time after a long day.

Yesterday we had both families over.  It was interesting to say the least but it was nice seeing everyone interact with N.

Meema and her boy learning to use pliers.  Getting ready for Opa to put him to work.

Mom Working... not Working Mom

I've been working for 20 years of my life. Sometimes with more than one job at a time. Then I was a working woman. But now my title is flipped. Now I'm a mom who happens to work from 8-4. I never saw myself as a "mom". But so quickly that has changed. The moment Nicholas entered my life, it happened. I might as well throw on a pair of 'mom jeans'.

I'm not a Super Mom

I wish I could do it all... Mom, wife, work, chores, and blog. But I can't, so the latter goes by the waste side.

Five and a half months... Fruit, rolling over, sitting up, babbling more and more, and the other day added scooting backwards. Last night he was sleeping in my lap after feeding and I found myself looking back over his time with us. I find myself doing that a lot. I' m just in amazement. I never knew I would love someone so much and never realized how quickly time really does fly.  I also find myself missing pregnancy and his birth.  It was amazing having life grow inside of me.  I wish for every woman to know this.  I wish no one had to experience loss or infertility.  I wish... for easy.

A year...

A year since that beautiful second pink line quickly appeared. A year sweet Nicholas has been with us, both inside and outside me. Wow! Its been both a lifetime and a blink of an eye. While our lives have changed beyond our imaginations, I wouldn't change a thing. Its been an amazing ride. I know this is all cliche... but very true.

N is a sweetheart. His "teachers" love him and say he's advanced for his age. Such a little smarty. :) His first two weeks at daycare have been great so far. He's already got a girlfriend, Sophia. He got his first birthday goodie bag from a classmate. And has everyone wrapped around his finger.

I know I owe pictures. I'll update soon.

While I celebrate a year with the idea and of N in the flesh, a friend lost her peanut at 7 weeks. My heart bleeds for her. Unfortunately its not her first loss. It sucks. It also sucks that I know the pain.

These Jeggings...

In an odd twist, these jeggings - with their skin tight denim on the thighs of a woman who gave birth only 3 months ago - actually make me feel good about myself.  These jeggings steered me away from what could have been a poor breakfast choice this morning.  They seem to possess a power that I can't describe.  Peter looked in disgust (he's not quite sure of the jegging epidemic - but does like the look of my ass in them) this morning as I pulled them on, but I reassured him with my boots, I will look hot.  And I think I do!  Nothing like a boost of confidence on a rainy Thursday morning.

A year ago, I would not have even walked past the jegging display in a store, but in a moment of insanity, I ordered them while on maternity leave.  I figured they would be a goal, most likely unattainable, but a goal nonetheless.

I still have a 'Nicholas pouch', which, while I'm proud of it and the stripes it bears, I wouldn't mind seeing it go.  And these jeggings... they give me that boost to say, "No. I am not going to get that yummy bagel with cream cheese.  I'm opting for healthy oatmeal this morning."

Thank you Old Navy and your Rock Star Jeggings!

Back to Blogging... and Back to Work :'-(

I took a blogging break to get to know Nicholas and get into the swing of this mommy thing.

Since my last (very "debbie downer") post I have come to terms with his birth and let myself grieve the natural vaginal birth I wanted but didn't get.  After a few weeks, I finally got into the breastfeeding groove. There were days when I wanted to hang up my boobs but its gotten much better and while I still feel very bovine, I am no longer stressed and overwhelmed about being his main source of nourishment.  I have been pumping at bedtime while Peter gives him a bottle. Its a nice break.

At his one-month pediatrician appointment he weighed 9lbs 15oz, 11lbs 7oz at his two-month appointment, and 13lbs 1oz at his three-month appointment. He's perfectly average in the 50th percentile all around.  He holds his head up, smiles, "talks"... a lot!, and just warms my heart.  Knock on wood... he sleeps through the night and if he wakes up, he goes back to sleep without any help from Mommy.  I hope that lasts!

This week was my first week back to work.  I am holding up surprisingly well.  Sunday night was rough - a few hysterics in the shower - but other than that, I'm ok.  Its unavoidable, I need to work.  So I suck it up and get on that train every morning.  It is the hardest thing to do, but I do it to keep a roof over Nicholas' head.  I was able to shift my hours from 9-5 to 8-4.  That little hour means so much.

This week was also "Daddy Daycare".  Peter is an awesome Dad.  He was a little cranky the first morning or two, but quickly got into the swing of things... just in time for his week off to be over and for Nicholas to go to daycare.

That's all I can comprehend to put into a post right now.  I hope to post more often... at least once a week.